Hear You Me
by Anna Jamisen
Summary: Five years after Tony is convicted he speaks to a reporter about his life, loves, and why he commited treason to save the one person who loved him more than anything. INCOMPLETE


"So, I suppose you want to know how this happened to me." he began, motioning to the pair of handcuffs that secured his wrists to the table in front of him. A slender woman stood in the corner of the room with a video camera, setting it up on the tripod. She had long, dark, curly hair and deep eyes. He couldn't help but think of how much she looked like his wife.

"Yes," the woman responded quietly, adjusting the zoom on the camera. The circles under his eyes made him look as if he hadn't slept in five years, maybe longer. For all she knew it could have been true.

"Well, where would you like me to begin?" he asked after the red light on the front of the camcorder began blinking. "I could start on the day I was brought here, the day it all happened - but then you wouldn't know anything about us - about our decisions, our lives, or how deeply these events affected us. I could tell you about how much I loved my wife, but you'd still know nothing about why I did all I could to save her. No, that wouldn't do it. I think I need to start at the beginning. The very beginning."

"When you started at CTU?" the woman asked, lowering herself to the chair opposite him.

"No, earlier than that. Much earlier."

He looked down pensively. This wouldn't be for the reporter across from him. It wouldn't be for the detectives sitting in the next room listening in or for the judge or the jury that convicted him. This wouldn't be for any of them. This was for her. She needed to know the truth, and one way or another, she would. No matter what happened, she would know how much he loved her, and why he did what he did. This was for her.

"When I was 18 I enlisted in the Marines. My father had been a Lieutenant before he died when I was 9. But I didn't do it because he would have wanted me to follow in his footsteps. I did it so they'd pay for my education. It turns out I ended up paying for much more than I ever thought I would.

"I was deployed on a sniper mission right after my promotion to Lieutenant. It was a covert op that no one was to know about. There were 17 men on the mission and one woman.

"At that time it was unheard of for a woman to be part of a secret mission, never mind be a sniper. But she was braver than any of the men there. We had one man leading our group, but while we were on the inside, I was in charge.

"Maybe that's why I hold myself responsible for what happened while we were there. Maybe that's why I've never forgiven myself for what happened. For whatever reason, these scenes have never left my mind.

"Obviously I can't tell you where we were, the mission is still classified; probably because we failed. I've always connected that with the thought that I failed. I'm jumping too far ahead.

"Her name was Sarah. Sarah Elizabeth Orsen. We all called her O. She hated it. When we used to sit in the barracks at night we'd call her O, and she'd pull out her 47 and whisper 'Call me O one more time.' The gun was never loaded, obviously, but they all knew she could kick their asses." he paused and sighed. "I never called her Sarah though. Most of them did, but I never did. Maybe because she was a Sergeant and I was a Lieutenant I didn't think it was right. I don't know why, because she always called me Tony.

"We were there for about, 2 weeks before it happened. We'd all had become pretty close. We could talk to each other. Even being their superior never bothered me or them, so I wasn't put on a pedestal. It was nice that way."

"Then what?" the woman asked, thoroughly intrigued.

"Well...We were going in to do some extraction work the next day, and rumor had it that the locals were not happy about our being there. I wouldn't have been either. It was going to be a dangerous mission, and our presence would not go unnoticed.

"The night before that, she came to me. She seemed - upset, to say the least. The guys were all outside playing basketball and I was in alone. I saw her come in and I greeted her, but she didn't respond. That was when I noticed that she was crying. Her eyes were all red and her face was streaked.

"'Sergeant, what's wrong?' I asked her. She didn't respond yet again, so I sat up and looked directly into her eyes. She sniffled a few times before finally sleeping.

"'Tony, I need some help.' she began. I motioned for her to sit down. She sat on the cot across from me and wiped her eyes. 'I know that tomorrow we'll be doing what we were trained to do, but...' she trailed off. 'I'm scared.' she whispered. I told her not to be, and that it would all be alright, but it only made her cry harder.

"So, I guess I did what anyone would do. I held her. We stayed there for a long time, with my arms just wrapped around her. After she had composed herself she sat up a little and dried her eyes. Then Sarah thanked me and apologized She got up and started to leave, but I couldn't let her go like that. I don't know why, but I reached out and grabbed her hand. She turned quickly and looked at me, a little puzzled.

"I don't know what compelled me to do what I did, but before I knew it I was standing in front of her, touching her face. She looked so scared, but her eyes were so brave. It was amazing to me." Tony started at his hands, now raw from the cuffs.

"So then what?" the woman asked.

"I kissed her." he looked at the camera, its red light blinking at him.

"We were lucky everyone was gone, because that was unheard of. We both would've been discharged and would have had to figure out where else we would go. It's very lucky we weren't caught. Very lucky.

"We stood there for a long time, just staring at each other. I whispered to her 'Sarah,' and for a moment she didn't respond, but then she jumped in quickly.

"'I'm sorry,' she began. 'I'm so sorry.' She felt terrible, and ran away quickly. I was startled. I hadn't expected her to leave like that, but then again, I don't know what I did expect.

"I spent the rest of the night feeling like a complete jerk, but I had to put that aside the next morning. We had to go."

"Go where?" the reporter asked, staring intently at Tony. His eyes were dull and held no emotion, and he twisted his wedding ring around his finger. The only way he'd allow them to do this interview was if he could wear the ring. She believed they were divorced, but they hadn't gotten up to that point yet.

"We had to do some extraction, and anyway, I can't give you all the details but, I'll tell you what I can.

"There were four of us stationed on this roof. We were close together and safe on the rooftops. There was gunfight going on in the street, but where we were it was relitavely safe. We never expected to lose any men from up there."

"There were four of you?" the reporter asked.

"Yes," Tony replied "Four. Matthews, Hawley, Orson and myself. We were only out there for 30 minutes. Just 30."

"Hang on, I have to replace the tape," the reporter interrupted.

Tony continued mumbling to himself. "What went wrong?"

"Okay," the reporter replied after replacing the tape and sitting back down. "What went wrong?"

Tony sat silent for a moment, taking himself back to that day. It was something he had always wanted to forget, but somehow he couldn't push the memory away.

"We...talked. We talked for a while on the roof. Our targets hadn't arrived, we weren't needed for at least 5 minutes."

"And?" the woman asked.

"And I told her how much that kiss meant to me. I told her that I thought she was adorable. I told her I wanted to be with her no matter what it took. She cried, and I did a little bit of weeping, and I kissed her again.

"As I kissed her, a sniper covering the opposite wall was taken out we don't know how and he had the rifle. We were only looking away for a moment, just a moment, but even if we had been watching we wouldn't have seen him, and it would have happened anyway.

"He found his shot, just as our faces parted" Tony paused and for the first time in a year, he cried. He broke down and wept.

The reporter was taken aback at this loose sense of emotion that appeared out of nowhere.

"You have to understand." Tony explained between sobs. "I cared about her, and I wanted to be with her and spend time with hershe was such a beautiful person." He paused for just a moment, tears still streaming down his face before he continued, this time with anger in his voice.

"The sniper fired just as Sarah and I stopped kissing. My hand was still on the side of her face." He lifted his hand, imitating the motion, and then put it down quickly. The memories were too vivid. Too strong.

"It killed her. That was it. It happened so fast, I couldn't even tell what was going on. And it was over. She was dead." He stopped. "I vowed after that moment that I would never lose someone again."


End file.
